This is my blogchalk: Philippines, Manila, Chinese, Filipino & English, Jaz, Female.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Numbers, You Frustrate Me
Just when I finally get to dream of numbers; Something that has NEVER happened to me ever before, That is, Until last night, I had to wake up and find myself totallyunable to recallthe set of 6numbers that graced my dreams!! Dammit! Those 6 numbers could just very well be the nextlucky draw in the mega lotto! Darn….
Despite his multiple allegations of child molestation & improperbehavior, And his rather, uhm, shall I say, Colorful, Physicaltransformation, You can’t discount the fact that he’s one of the greatestacts the world has ever known… Michael Jackson. The King of Pop. Who could ever forget “Thriller” The top-selling album of all time, selling more than 40million copies worldwide?! I know I can’t. Have always loved him… In “Billy Jean”, In “Beat It”, In “The Way You Make Me Feel”, In “Smooth Criminal”, In “Heal The World”, In “Black Or White”, Oh the list just goes on! Too BAD though that it ain’t gonna be going a whole lot longer, As news got out that Michael Jackson, aged 50,died of cardiac arresttoday. Sigh…. Gone too soon, he did. May he rest in peace….
If I could have it myway, I wouldn’t be working for my mom’sbiz, Or should I rather say, I don’t wanna workfor HER.
It’s rather depressing that I am not in the profession that I so want myself to be in right now, So having to work for someone, like my mom, who is pig-headed and who refuses to even listen to any of my comments / suggestions, Can be, to be really honest, Vexing. No, make that valium-inducing!
I know my mom’s business sense is good. Her expertise in managing the biz (coming from the number of years that she’s in business) adds to her credit as well, But there are just someareas that can take a little tweaking or two, Thus, My comments and suggestions.
But rather than hearing out what I had to say, And considering the points I made, She shots it down. Bang! There goes my 2-cents. Now, not only that…. I get shot at in front of a live audience. Bang! Bang! Just great…. We lost her…..my ego, that is. Gawd. How I hate her sometimes.
What is it about comments & suggestions or new ideas that she couldn’t take? Is she feeling insecure because I have some ideas where she doesn’t? Or is she simply irritated to have to listen to someone younger; someone like her own daughter? Really, I don’t get her. What’s there for her to be insecure and angry about? She, the illiterate one, is the one who has a running business, and not me, the educated one. And with that, Can’t she feel proud of herself and of her achievements? And somehow realize the amount of pressure I bear each day; having to live off from her and not be able to stand on my own and have my ownenterprise? Sigh.
Tell me, How do you bring the old & the new together without it killing each other? For now, I don’t know. My thoughts are blank. But perhaps, I’d find the answerdown the road.
You know what I hate about having to take the public transport? It’s the fact that you’ll chance upon scoundrels, And meet a lot of jerks, jackasses, and bastards.
Just today, A drunk/addict took the same ride with me. The jeepney only had a total of 4passengers…. Me, 2 other ladies, and the schmuck. While there is way too much space for us 4 passengers on that ride that could seat about 16 people, The schmuck had to sit uneasily close to me! I know I’m not that type of a person who likes to be in close contact with strangers, But I can usually tolerate situations that calls for shoulder-to-shoulder, elbow-to-elbow, or thigh-to-thigh closeness (e.g. public transport, concert grounds, flea markets). But this one, My gawd, He reeks of booze and sweat and devil-might-know-what-else there is! So I moved a couple of seats AWAY from him, But surprise surprise, He moved alongside me as well! Then not only that, He kept much closer… So close that there’s literally no space, not the tiniest, even for an ant. Now if that didn’t make me tick, His next actions did, He placed his hand on my thigh! Gritting my teeth, I sharplywarned: “Tanggalin mo yang kamay mo at umurong ka ng pwesto!” But he had the audacity to slide his hands up and down my thigh! What I did next came as a surprise to all the other lady passengers and even to the driver (he stopped driving to look back at the spectacle I am causing)… I took the umbrella I had in my other hand and stabbed it into his upper thigh, While shouting: “Pag di ka tumigil sa kabastusan mo, matatamaan yang mukha’t ari mo ng payong na to!” And if that wasn’t enough, I stared the man down when he shot me a murderous look. Defeated, He can only shift towards the other side of the jeepney where the 2 ladies sat. Instinctively, The 2 ladies shifted to my side of the ride. Hahaha.
You must think me crazed to be so “tapang” But I assure you, If you are sick and having a rough day just like I did, I betcha, No one should be messing with you either. =)
I’ve been sick for over a week now. No, don’t worry… I’m not SUPER sick anymore as to be required to be bedridden still. In fact, I have been going back to manning our business since Monday morn, And I’ve quit taking all my heavy-dose medications (it wasn’t working that well anyway). And boy! Does it feel nice and wonderful to be rid of those prescription drugs that, I know, are supposed to make one get better, but actually makes a person feelso much worse!
But if there’s onemedication that I am so notabandoning at this time, It’s definitely going to be my cough syrup. Coz there’s no way I am going to sound like the crazy-wheezing-barking dog that I was earlier back at the public transport that I rode, That stole everyone’s attention, Zipped every mouth, And delayed all breathing rhythms of those of my co-passengers. Yes. No one within a foot of me dared to breathe, Or should they do, They all had their nosescovered. Sheyt. I was so mortified. Such an embarrassment I was! Nakakahiya! If only I knew that I would be having that cough attack, I would’ve brought my own car and spared all from my rather fluidperformance! (thus sparing myself from that horrible embarrassment as well!)
Sigh. It’s difficult to have a cough, But it’s so much more difficult to have it at a time when there’s an outbreak of Influenza A (H1N1)! People instinctively and automatically stay clear of you, Whether or not it is just regular cough or that which is brought along by an epidemic.
Now if there’s one thing I’ve learned today, It is that… Coughing in the season of A H1N1 is fatal, Fatal to my ego, that is! Sigh.
Manila’sscorchinghotweather is killing me. That, Or my doc’s prescriptionsare.
I’m at home right now raisingmore complications than I originally hadlast night. While I only had a sore throat and an unusuallyrunny nose yesterday; Symptoms of a common cold, Now I have an unusuallyparched throat(one that makes swallowing, and speaking, extremely painful), And a veryconfused nose. By that I mean, My left nostril is so stuffed that I can hardlybreathe, While my right nostril is like one leakyfaucet! And dammit! Why do I feel like I’m swimming when I’m on my two feet, and on dry land?! Jeez! Can someone tell me why I need to down 3 different antibiotics / medications every 4 hours just to get rid of a common cold?! Oh, I forgot. My mom’sparanoid. She had to have me visit a doctor when I feel just a bitunwell(where: a bit unwell = slightly grouchy disposition but still capable of working and manning the business) , So now, I really do feel unwell(where: unwell = in my sickbed and cursing). My pockets, even, After it has been sequestered with a couple of thousand pesos. Gawd. It’s so easy to get sick, even if you aren’t! Anyways, Keep healthy everyone! And don’t get sick!
If you’re from ‘Pinas, That line wouldn’t be yours for sure. Coz everywhere you go, Betcha there will be people talking about that onesamescandal: The Hayden, I mean, hidden-but-apparently-not-so-hiddensexvideos.
They’re all over the place… From piratedDVD copies, To mobile phone 3G downloads, It’s selling like hotpandesals! And while government authorities are hunting down unscrupulous denizens who are taking advantage of the situation (with pirated DVD copies of the scandal costing as much as 500bucks!), The internet has been burning HOT with about a gazillion sites offering free online streaming & downloads! How horrible! I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of shame for the parties involved…. The internet… Man, That’s practically the whole world bearing witness to those shameful lascivious acts!
I know it’s cruel for the parties involved (and their families as well) to be talked about, But it’s really hard for people like me to keep our views to ourselves…. I’m notjudging anyone, But I don’t want to miss the opportunity to point out what’s right from wrong:
Intimate moments should be restricted to the privacy of one’s quarters. Now for some reason those lovemaking sessions need to be on record, Then, Permission must be secured from your partner. But honestly, jeez, Whatever do you need with videotaped lovemaking sessions?! Oh never mind! Basta, My point is: Doing something for which permission hasn’t been secured or granted is WRONG!
When you receiveword of someone’s passing, You realize, once again, that life can be so short, And that things, And most importantly, People, Can be taken away from you in a snap.
And that scares the hell out of me.
One of my mom’s good ‘ol friends passed away today. She was found dead, in a pool of her own blood, inside their bathroom. Apparently, She hit her head on something and bled to death, And no one from her house knew of what happened until it was alreadytoolate. So sad. She was a dear friend of ours and I’m terriblysad to see her go.
It’s cruel, no? How life puts that dot on our lines…. A healthy woman in her early60’s, Who would’ve thought that the voice behind the phone conversation of ours just meredays ago, Will be lost to us forever?
Puts us up on our guards, huh? And it sort-of teaches us to value every living, breathing moment we have with ourselves, Our loved ones and our friends. Coz life is short and death can be so sudden.
I offer a moment of silence and my deepestcondolences to the Tan family. To us, She will always be Poguok, our dear friend. And she will always be remembered.
Call meparanoid, But with a SARS-likeepidemic(The Swine Flu Virus) spreading acrosscontinents, I’d rather be prepared and equipped… Well, At least with these:
Face Masks
I know it isn’t much of a full-proofprotection As there are a lot of ways to catch the virus, But it’s better than noprotection at all.
So there, I literally boughtALL the display stocks of the Mercury Drugstore nearest us, And would’ve hoarded more should there be any inventory stocks left, To which they have none, unfortunately. But which, I’ve resolved to recheck again on the morrow.
You, too, In my opinion, Should go get some. At least, While most people have yet to go paranoid, And while supplieslast.
You never know… The virus could reach our part of the world as well…. Though I pray, Godforbid.
People from my mom’s biz area has been asking a lot about my shift, From the corporate arena that I was accustomed to, To that of ours… A private and a small(no, tiny) and simpleventure. Most have the impression that I’d adjust none too fairly, Or should I rather, That I would be bored to death and complain.
But what have I got to complain for? I chose to be where I am today. And even if it wasn’t what I had originallyintended for myself, (As life has its own way of throwing itself against me, my hopes and my dreams) I find noreason to be unhappy and a failure. In my opinion, We should grow and thrive wherever life brings us to, Whether it’s on greenpasture or on foreignsoil….
Yes, Just like a weed, Ilive and thrive where life brings me to.
She, Definitely, Is showing us that there is truth to the statement: Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover.
And I am, STILL, Dumbfounded… Completelyamazed… Yes, And even after watching her performance for the nth time these past few days, I am STILLcaptivated by her and that beautifulvoice of hers!
I’d probablyjumpdown from where I’m standing To frolic in the cool waters of the pool, And rid the scorchingsummerheat off my body.
But while I can’tswim, I can save my life…. Coz after all, I live about 8 floors up this pool of ours, And taking a plungedown the waters, Is, For a certain, HIGHLY NOTRECOMMENDABLE.
I guess, This is one of thosetimes wherein I should be thankful that I can’t swim to save my life! Hahaha.
But don’t you worry, guys. This isn’ta tag. So just sit back & enjoy this clip I got from Youtube. It’s pretty cool & funny, And definitely something I can relate to.
In another 3days, Mom is gonna be celebrating her birthday. And I’m still lackingagift! By that admission, I mean, I still need one more item to complete my bundled gift…. More specifically, I need to locate a decentblouse to complement the khakiCapripants that I bought earlier on.
Now, I’m sure you’d all be thinking that a T-shirt would probably be the best item to go with the Capri pants, And while I may agree, My mom, unfortunately, don’t lookgood in one. The shape of her upper body just doesn’t look too well donning a T-shirt, Though she does seem to fit well into polo shirts and blouses. Polo shirts, However, She has aplenty. From cheap buys, like the ones being sold in the tiangges of Greenhills, Up to the more luxurious brands like RL & Lacoste, I made certain she has ample to choose from. But nicetops & blouses? That, I need to stock her up on, As the only decent blouse that I remember giving her was the one from GII Black, And the one that I got in Crocodile back when I visited HK. Needless to say, Mom is in dire need of more dressy tops, And I’m hell-bent on finding her another piece for her birthday...
I know my mom may notapprove of my purchases for her; As she thinks that my choices are toomodern for a mom her age, To which, of course, I stronglydisagree with. I mean, If you’re not THATold yet, Why dress up like one? (Unless you gave yourself a premature Senior Citizen card & the only way that people won’t question you is if you look the part, right?) Whatever the case, I ain’t letting my mom look like a granny til she actually becomes one! And that could be… Probably later than most. But anyway, MOm likewise thinks that my purchases are rather unnecessary in terms of the price tag --- Even if it’s just worth something like P200! Just exactly the reason why I don’ttell her the cost of the things that I buy for her! Ha ha! But seriously, I love buying items for her. She’s the only one I’ve got here in this life, So splurging her with gifts once in awhile shouldn’t be too taxing on my funds. Besides, It’s not like that I spend more than what I could afford, Mind you, But whatever it is that I see that would be useful for mom, Or that which will lookgood on her, I buy. Brand is of little concern. After all, If I can find a non-branded item as good a quality as (or close to) that of a branded one, Why not? I mean, Is there any customer out there who would complain of more favorable prices? Thought so.
Anyway, I’m signing out of this R&R. Me need to find that perfect blouse-y for mama… None too hip, But not too old-looking as well. Coz she’s just turning 58 =)
It’s always easier to remember a debt that needs collecting, Than it is to remember one that needs payment.
Those words I said to mom after she asked me not to argue with our storeneighbor; The one who took a can of energy drink from one of our refrigeratorstands early this afternoon while my hired helpers & I were busyaccommodatingother customers, Saying that she’ll come back to pay for it, But then denying it moments afterward when I tried to collect from her.
“I didn’t take any energy drink! It must be a different person!” the girl exclaimed
“Unless you were born with an identical twin, I don’t think it’s easy to confuse one person with another.” I pointed out
“And no, you don’t easily forget the face of the person who owes you money” I continued on
“But how can I have taken that energy drink if I don’t even remember coming to your store earlier?!” she insisted
“Thrice. You stepped into our store thrice today. Once in the morning to buy some Taiwan delicacies & 2 bottles of aloe vera drink; One in the early afternoon where you accompanied a fellow store neighbor to buy a box of Chinese biscuits; and lastly, just about 30minutes after your last visit, you came back & grabbed that energy drink while we were busy with other customers, but instead of paying, you simply told me that you’d come back to pay for it.” I detailed
I would’ve continued further by saying things such as, “If it was your ghost that I saw earlier (which by the bye couldn’t have been as you are still here with me, very much alive & arguing), I definitely wouldn’t be asking for any payment, now would I?”
But my mom, Being the foreverpeace-maker-ng-bayan, Decided then to shushme and my thoughts, By apologizing(to my shock, disbelief and utter annoyance), And by telling the girl that I’m probably the one that was mistaken.
For someone who’s constantly been told that she has a goodmemory and an eye for details, That didn’tsit well with me. But what can I do? I’m merelyworkingfor my mom. It’s her business, not mine. And since the owner has spoken, What more could I say?
So I just calmed my nerves, And went back to work, While the girl audibly made a replay of events (her own version) to some bystanders. I swear I could hear her mocking me, That was, Until, She remembered. Oh yeah. It all came back to her…. Her, grabbing the energy drink, And her, Telling me that she’d come back to pay for it.
So in a voice that clearly resonates the tone “I told you so,” I said the lines to mom “Human nature….It’s always easier to remember a debt that needs collecting, Than it is to remember one that needs payment.”
No, this entry isn’t about me finding my Mr. Right. Though it sure touches on certain areas of my preferences these days…
A partner in one of the more prestigious companies that I previously worked for, Graciously recommended my services to some of her high-profile clients some time last week. I know, I should be sooo darn thankful that somebody of that stature (a big boss) still remembers me, Even after all those years that I’ve been out of the company (believe me, it was ages ago), And considering that I was only one small body in that massive ocean of employees that they maintain year after year. Surprising & weird, isn’t it? Yeah, I know. It still strikes me odd, even up to this day, that I somehow managed to get myself noticed AND remembered by a big boss, So much so that she’d wanna refer me to her big, BIG clients. I guess, In all that I’ve done wrong in my career, I must’ve done something right to deserve her recommendation or two. That, Or perhaps, Just maybe, I’m one lucky girl.
Anyway, I had 2 big corporate names continuouslyringing my cellphone, And flooding me with emails when I couldn’t receive their calls, (I was too distracted by our suppliers & their deliveries to even notice that my cellphone had been calling, nay, shouting, for my attention the entire day). It’s pretty flattering, really. I mean, Having SVPs and CFOs running after you, And offering you a job. No, Lemme correct that, A career.
I know. Most people would jump at the slightesthint of a job offer. And majority of those, if not all, would grab(or kill) for the opportunity of earning close to 6-digit figures on a monthly basis, Right? Yeah, most, I guess, will. But I’m not most people. So my answer was NO.
I think I can see the look of disbelief on your faces right now; Can imagine how you guys must be thinking of my decision….a totally insane one. And believe me, I understand…. Coz in these trying economic times where employment is scarce, And there are countless of jobseekers and millions, still, of unemployed individuals, I had the heart to decline and to be picky of the job & responsibility that was being offered! Yeah, I am truly out of my wits!
And while multitude of jobseekers fight for the same job vacancy, And possibly, for survival, What was I gunning for? I’m certainly notrich, And I could definitely use the money (well, who doesn’t?), So why didn’t I just take the job?!
Well, Apart from the fact that the work & responsibility (a Comptrollership position) being offered simply do notinterest me, (Gawd I hate accounting work! Couldn’t really believe that I took the course back in college!) I am terrified of the sacrifices that I’d have to make. Health. Time. Relationships. These will all be eaten away once I get back on the tough corporate agenda that is sure to be tied to the job function that I am being encouraged to take. I’m such a coward, huh? Perhaps I am. But on the other hand, I believe that our priorities do change as we grow older: Just like, While I used to loveslaving myself over for employers in exchange for earnings that couldn’t seem to satisfy any human’s financialthirst (Though it is already more than enough to fill my own pockets), Now, It seems that the only interest I have is at simply catching up on matters that are far more important than money itself…. My health And my mom.
I know a lot of you may find it “sayang” or unfortunate, But money, career & fame isn’t what I prefer and need nowadays. I think I’ve earned just about enough… And is lucky enough to have the resources to allow me to pick the offers coming my way. I’m not saying that I won’t be going back to my corporate roots, But what I’m saying is, If ever I would, It won’t be pretty soon. Coz I’ve been, and still will be, picky.
What do you ladies do when a mancurses at you with “p*ta!” and gives youthefinger?
Well, I don’t know about most of you, But Icertainly gave him a considerablepiece of my mind. And a helllot of names too… Ranging from as*h*le to j*cka*s to sc*mbag to, well, You get what I mean. Actually, A piece of my mind & a handful of names weren’t just exactly what I wanted for the creep… Coz I swear, There was thatmoment when all Iwanted to do was smack him hard on the face with a pan or an iron hanger, But the irony of which is that, The only tool I have onhand was a lousy pen(which I could’ve stabbed him with, but I dared not for fear of seeing moiself behind bars for attemptedmurder). Pfft!
But really, if you ask me, I don’t feel noshame even as I caused a scene over at our place of biz by RAISING my voice to his, Matching his argumentspound for pound, and maybe even more…. Coz he really deserved all the sh*tload I said! Yeah, that’s right. No shame on my part. But he should. Feel disgrace, I mean. After onlookers tell him that, A man’s not a MAN if he can only pick fights with women… And stilllose. Tsk tsk.
I wonder how it tastes like…. Licking after the wounds that is his own doing? Tsk tsk.
I was about to eat my merienda order of Asian Chicken Salad over at our biz store’s nearby KFC branch, When, From the corner of my eye, I witnessA couplesmooching, Necking, And groping each other so brazenly, (Note: They were touching & yanking at each other’s private parts) As if they’re in the comforts of their own private ‘lil bedroom, That I choked on my forkful of leafy-veggies-con-chicken-cubes delight!
Goodness gracious, Why can’t they keep their private affairsprivate, And spare our eyes from all that action?!! Yes, OUR eyes, Referring to the entire congregation of about 40-50 that was in that particular establishment then, Trying(no thanks to them) to enjoy a happy, scandal-free meal or two!
I don’t know about each and every individual who’ve witnessed it all, But I’m sure that the family of 5 sitting beside my table found it very offensive, And highlydistasteful as I did. Eech.
Look, It’s not that I condemnpublic displays of affection(PDA) whatsoever between lovers, But my gawd, I think there must only be a certain extent of affection or lovin’ that can be displayed for public attention, consumption, distraction or what have you, While the rest be reserved for our very ownimaginations….
That’s right, Nobody needs those public displays of lust(PDL), So please, Keep your animalmatinghabits to yourselves.
